December 21, 2015

Do they like me

When someone talks to you, they either like you or they are willing to accept you. The moment they realize they are not willing to accept you, they will stop talking to you, no matter what you do. So don't worry about whether someone likes you or not as long as they are talking to you. Focuse on trying to figure out whether you like them or not.

December 10, 2015

How to start online dating

Because we want to make sure you have a pleasant experience dating online, we suggest you to:

Make an email address just for dating.

You can use your real first name, but go with a different last name, just to make sure no one will have enough information to start looking for you and eventually show up at your door.

Set up a Skype account just for this purpose as well!

You will want to see and talk to your match before deciding to meet them in person.

Upload flattering, but accurate pictures.

Put up recent photographs of yourself in both indoor and outdoor light, also a full body shot as well as a close up of your face.

Tell people what kind of person you are looking for in a positive way.

If you won't date a smoker, a drinker, someone with children, make that clear (but not rudely) in your profile. Keep in mind that some smokers, drinkers, single parents may still (for whatever reasons) contact you.

Check your spelling and grammar.

Most people say that poor writing is an instant turn-off.

Check a few times a week to see if anyone new has shown up that may interest you.

People create and delete profiles every day. So you never really know when the right person might show up or when will go away.

Have a phone conversation with a match before any initial meeting.

Even if you talked on Skype, you should verify their phone number as well, and share it with a relative.

Always have the first few meetings and dates in a crowded public place.

By a crowded public place I mean a restaurant. You don't want to go the cinema or a park.

Always tell someone where you are going and who you are meeting. And have someone call you during your initial meetings to see if you are fine.

Give this person as many information as possible, as well as your date's phone number. Your safety depends on them. After all you don't really know who you are actually meeting.

Do not allow anyone but the wait staff and yourself near your drink.

Personally when I go out I only order a sealed bottle of water that I use without a glass. Yes, I know that says I have no manners, but I think it is better to be safe than sorry.

Relax and let your body language create the chemistry between the two of you.

Initial love depends 55% on gestures and 35% on the tone of your voice. So the more agitated you are, the less likely you will be able to create that chemistry everyone is talking about. Yes, it is very easy to fall in love with a relaxed person, that is why before you meet them you should look at the compatibility and the real personality description we offer you about our members.

December 8, 2015

Dating profile photo

Your dating profile photo is supposed to make someone decide if they like you or not. For that reason, you need a portrait like photo where we can clearly see your face and your eyes and your head, so no masks, sunglasses or hats. Besides the portrait, you should also add a full body picture.


November 24, 2015

Dating advice for men

As a man you should know that a woman wants you to talk to her, the problem is she is too subtle and you have got to learn to pay attention. Women do not acknowledge men they do not like. Any time you get attention from a women, it is because she likes you. When a woman does not want your attention, she will find a way to avoid it.

October 18, 2015

single and looking to start dating online

Dating is something that most people go through at least once during a lifetime. There are many different ways to meet someone that you would like to date ranging from online dating sites to socializing at a party. Some people are great at meeting potential dates, while others prefer to be set up on blind dates. The fact of the matter is that dating has been around for centuries now, and it looks like this type of social interaction is here to stay. In most instances, the sole purpose of dating someone is to find a potential mate who you can grow old with.

If you are looking for that right person, chances are you want someone who attracts you, who has a personality to compliment your own, and who shares other qualities that will make a connection possible. If you want to know more about a person before you decide to approach them about a relationship, online dating can be your best option. Online dating can give you a fresh approach to finding love. Why leave it to chance when you can take control of your own destiny and find love for yourself?

Single and Looking is the online dating site that will help you find a date, form a lasting relationship, and discover love. We are devoted to offering member profiles, photos, personal email and more to help you get around in the online singles world and dating scene.

Single-and-Looking.com helps to match your profile with a dating partner who does not only match your search criteria, but you also match theirs and who also has similar interests.

So, if dating, long-term relationships, or just browsing online dating sites is your interest, try our online dating site that is working to make your single dating experience a success. If you are looking to find a date (or a mate), you will find Single-and-Looking.com helpful.

When it comes to dating, there is no time like the present to start networking with people who may be a perfect match for you.

October 17, 2015

being single in a foreign country

Being single in a foreign country and looking for your own nationality

You might say, being in a relationship  with a foreigner is no problem because it happens everywhere and anywhere. As long as two people are in love, that is all that matters, there is really nothing much to argue about. Let them get on with their lives so they can produce beautiful, exotic offspring.

At times, however, it is not as easy as that. And some people might prefer a more conservative approach. But if you happen to be a single conservative person living in a foreign country, finding a date can seem like an extremely difficult task. In this case, Single-and-Looking.com can help you find your own nationality and/or someone who speaks the same language you do.

For example, lets assume you are a single Italian man living in USA and looking for a like-minded romantic Italian lady who happens to live near by. All you have to do is select Italian as the language that you speak and select your state, states near by or where you want us to look for your lady.

October 16, 2015

happiness leads to profit

A new Blackhawk Engagement Solutions’ survey of employed Americans reveals that happy employees are more productive than unhappy employees. The study also shows that employee rewards and recognition may not be aligned with what actually makes employees happy and more productive. Out of a list of 12 influences, with one being the highest, respondents ranked their jobs number eight in terms of contributions to overall happiness. Ranking in the top spots were family, friends and health.

Make your single employees happier by referring them to single-and-looking.com


Happiness leads to greater levels of profits

Workers with strong relationships with co-workers are likewise better at staying engaged and performing under stress. A recent Gallup survey found only 13% of employees are engaged at work, meaning the vast majority of working adults doesn't enjoy their work.

 Happiness is the ultimate productivity booster, because happy people:
  • work better with others;
  • fix problems instead of complaining about them;
  • have more energy,
  • are more creative, optimistic, motivated, and healthy (i.e., they take fewer sick days);
  • worry less about making mistakes (and then actually make fewer mistakes);
  • learn faster; and
  • make better decisions.

Married couples are happier than single people, especially those who say they married their best friend, says a new study. The National Bureau of Economic Research in Canada used data for the report from the British Household Panel Survey, the United Kingdom's Annual Population, and the Gallup World Poll.

October 5, 2015

dating website that allows you to delete your profile

Deleting accounts you've created on the Internet isn't always easy, or possible. There are a number of dating sites that do not let you delete an account, period. However, deleting your account from Single and Looking is permanent, and deleted accounts cannot be reinstated. We have even created a short video to show you the steps and how easy that is.



September 14, 2015

what men think

What expectations do men think that women have from them? What expectations do men have from women?

One of the logical fallacies of men is that they believe that women are attracted to them the same way that they are attracted to women. That is false. 

Generally speaking, women do not weigh physical attraction nearly as high as men weigh it. Instead, women prefer signals of strength, leadership, intelligence and wealth.

Here are a few other common fallacies that men have. They believe that women like:

1) to be put on a pedestal
- This is not true. Women like to be treated with respect, but also will test men for their fitness as  mate. If you put a woman on a pedestal and subjugate yourself to her whims you are showing weakness. Women deplore weakness in men even more than they enjoy fawning attention (for while).

2) to be indulged when they are indecisive
- "I don't know, what do YOU want to do" should be banished from every man's lexicon. Women want you to lead and make decisions, especially if the options are particularly ambiguous. (this does not mean that if she really wants sushi and you don't care that you should pick something else just to be "decisive". You can be decisive without being a jerk.)

3) to be smarter than their man
- women want a man who is as smart or smarter than they are. Ask any woman PhD how interested they are in the books down at the pool hall, even though they are buff from delivering refrigerators all day long.

4) you to always agree with them
- If a woman is wrong, treat her like a grown up and tell her she's wrong and explain why. If you are an atheist and she goes to church every Sunday, don't compromise your principals. You may need a different woman, though, for some thing as fundamental as religion.

5) you to buy her extravagant gifts
- Some women love getting gifts - but those women prefer quality over cost. A quality gift can be a box of Skittles in the right context. Big gifts for big occasions are fine, but only if you feel it and you can afford it. Giving here outlandish gifts in the hope that she will have more sex with you is an egregious miscalculation.

6) you to never cry in front of them
- Crying because someone you love died is perfectly fine. Crying because your team lost a game is not.

7) to initiate sex most of the time
- Generally speaking, women have "responsive desire", which means that they need you to take the initiative most of the time. Women will initiate sex, of course, but if she is doing it much more often, and you find yourself turning her down more than a couple of times a year, then you've got yourself a serious libido mismatch that needs to be addressed. Get thee to a urologist and have your testosterone levels checked.

8) you to put the toilet seat down
- This one is often cited in jokes. However, she is a grown up woman who can check the toilet seat all by herself, just like you do. She needs to grow up.

9) you do a lot of housework
- In dual income households, it makes sense to share the housework. But if she is a housewife (I prefer that to "stay at home mom"), then her job is the housework. Don't be a slob, and don't be disrespectful of her efforts. Sharing chores as a way to get more sex is wrong and ineffective. So only do them for the right reason - if you both work.

10) you be out of work
- An unemployed man is less attractive as an employed man - even if he is a stay-at-home dad. If he is a stay at home dad, he should be working on some money-making or educational endeavor with the aim to get back in the workforce.

11) you to be abusive
- There is a lot of literature out there that claim men should be an "alpha asshole" to attract women.   In fact, alpha assholes do attract women, even smart attractive high quality women. But alpha assholes are still  assholes. A man can be confident and decisive without being a jerk. Think of it as a "captain/first officer" model. The captain relies on and consults with the first officer about the course, but ultimately he sets it.

12) you to be lazy
- Sitting around in your sweatpants playing X-Box every night does not a compelling mate make.  

13) you to be out of shape
- Women are much more forgiving of physical flaws than men are, but if you are a fat lazy slob who is doing nothing to control the effects of age and malnutrition on his body, you will be less attractive.   Even showing a decent effort to stay in shape will be rewarded. Attraction is not a choice - don't give her a reason for the default "no" to kick in.

14) you to let her defend herself from physical violence
- Women like the comfort of having a strong man by them so if shit gets real he can step in and take out the bad guys. This is a primal feeling that many women will deny - but it's there. Also, she needs to know that you can physically destroy her if she gets out of line. This should be implied and never stated outright, and you should NEVER show any physical violence to a woman. There are rare circumstances when an intense stare and dominant growl are warranted, expected, and even appreciated. Of course, that doesn't mean she shouldn't be a bad-ass and take kickboxing or something. But she should still feel safer with you by her side.  

Now, for the expectations that men have of women.

1) to be sexually available and enthusiastic
- Men like women for sex. Try to understand that men have 20x the testosterone of women and we spend a good portion of our mental energy suppressing millions of years of evolutionary urges.

2) to be kind and loving toward him
- You are the physical manifestation of love his his life. Your body, your attention and your desire are all he needs.

3) to optimize her waist/hip ratio
- Men universally prefer a 0.70 waist/hip ratio. The closer you can get to this through diet and exercise the more attractive you will be to all men, not just yours.

4) to look like a 23 year old woman
- Of course, this is impossible, and women who look good "without any makeup" are usually wearing the right amount of makeup to make them look as close to 23 years old as possible. But even though it is impossible, men also will trade "pretty" for "sexy" almost any day of the week. So, your sexy attitude and his "wife goggles" will override the 20 lbs. of baby fat that you just can't shake.

5) to have a well developed maternal instinct
- If you are going to be the mother of his babies, he expects you to want to do that. Even if you decide or can't have kids, a woman can do worse than have a protective maternal way about her.

6) to stand by him
- "Stand by your man" is corny - but if he fucks up, he would like to know that you are on his side, even if his side is somewhat dodgy.  

7) to smile a lot
- Men like happy and confident women. They also like women with a purpose, but it is not nearly as important as

8) to have a career. or not
- Having a career does not move the needle much either way for men when it comes to attraction. It's kind of like having hair on men. Most women have a slight preference, but it is easily overridden by other considerations.

9) to sync up with their expectations of having kids
-  A guy who wants to have kids really needs a woman who feels the same way. Likewise a guy who does not want to have kids should marry a woman who wants 10 kids.

10) to be a great housekeeper
- Even working women are expected to be neater than men. Running a slovenly household is not a good harbinger of a woman's fitness as a parent. It doesn't mean you have to be anal about it - just run a sponge over the counter once in a while.

11) for you to be relatively the same attractiveness as him
- a wife who is unattractive is a social liability to her husband.
- a wife who is very attractive will be the target of thousands of potential suitors.

September 7, 2015

Love is all about percentages

"I don't think love is about fireworks, birds singing and the perfect person. Love is all about percentages. Let's say that 18% of the time you drive me crazy, like insane crazy. But 82% of the time I had more fun with you than anyone ever." - from "Hello ladies" movie Success in a relationship is all about percentages, but not necessarily in the way described. There are different components we take into consideration when creating someone's profile and their needs, like the social, emotional, physical, intellectual, sexual component. When two singles share 80% similar needs on all components, we encourage them to start a relationship. When two singles share 100% similar needs on social, emotional, physical and intellectual component, but only 10% on the sexual component, we cannot encourage that relationship because they are too different. At first they might like the idea of trying something new, but in time they will not feel comfortable doing only things they cannot do. The false believe that only by having sex a couple can tell how compatible they are, is the same one making men think there is something wrong with them, while the truth is they are just not compatible; and sexual compatibility can be measured without interaction.

Why should I believe there is such a thing as a perfect match or a perfect compatibility?

We are not pretending to offer you a perfect compatibility, but we will show you from our members who you are most compatible with. So even if you decide not to become a full member in order to see your compatibility, by completing your profile you allow other members to see how compatible they are with you.

August 31, 2015

online dating tips

Online Dating Tips

Online dating is now the second-most common way couples meet, with 40 to 50 percent of singles trying out services, from sites to apps. So if you're single and wish to avoid spending all your time clicking aimlessly or going on dates you feel like running (screaming) from, you need to make a few changes.
  • look for compatible match dates -- Compatibility is an important factor that will save you time. Some people are attractive but not photogenic and photos will just not do them justice. Most of us are not professional writers, so personals will only give you a glimpse of who your date really is.
  • upload a nice photo of yourself -- Go out in the natural light of the day and take a nice photo of yourself, and by yourself we mean you alone. You don't want to show how attractive your friends are, do you? No matter how bad you think you look, there are plenty of people who like you just the way you are. Those are the one you should consider dating.
  • keep your personal ad short and to the point -- By short we don't mean "you'll find out more about me at our first date"; we meant to say go ahead and tell us something but just keep it under 100 words. Tell the right person why you are right for them.

Why is dating in the 21st century more nerve-wracking than ever?

Part of it is demographics. About half of Americans are single, so there should be lots of choices out there, right? Not necessarily. Single men outnumber single women in the western half of the U.S., and vice versa in the eastern half, where there are more single women. So anyone living in Los Angeles (where there are about 90,000 more single men than women) who is looking for a man has an advantage over someone living in New York (which has 200,000 more single women than men)
Dating anxiety could also have something to do with changing social norms -- you may not be sure what your role is in the dating sphere. People are living longer, gender roles are becoming more flexible, and adults are putting equal priority on their careers, friendships and social causes. Still, the pressure is on to date as much as possible, find a soul mate and get married. However, despite all this pressure and the unfavorable odds, dating can be a lot of fun with a compatible partner.
7 reasons to date online
When trying to determine whether or not online dating is the right path for you there are some main points to consider. These top ten reasons may help provide you with some of the positive aspects of online dating.
3 steps to perfect personals
Many people are finding out each day that getting on the best online dating sites isn’t the only key to finding the right people to date. Those who want to get the right message across and to meet new people need to make sure that they begin with the very best personals in order to get the right attention.
what do men look for in a woman?
and
what do women look for in a man?
In general, we tend to couple with people who have a similar level of attractiveness. We also find that men tend to fall for pretty faces, while women are highly attracted to men with fat wallets. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense because men are looking to improve their gene pool while women are looking for men who will help to support their children.
things women do that drive men crazy
and
things you should never say to a woman
There are certain questions, phrases and demands you should never utter to a man or a woman.
Love is a conscious choice!
True, love is the ability to choose one person above all, and the ability to celebrate that choice for as long as you live.
Dating Safety tips - practical tips for dating
Better safe than sorry!

August 24, 2015

Practical Tips for Dating

Practical Tips for Dating Online and Off

There is no substitute for acting with caution when communicating with any stranger who wants to meet you. You are in control of your online dating experience at all times -- remain anonymous until you feel ready. Remember to always trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or threatened, cease communication and report any misbehavior immediately.
  • Guard your identity. Don't share your full name, personal phone numbers, home address, place of work or any other identifying information while messaging until you have established a reasonable level of trust with the other party.
  • Get to know the other person online before meeting them offline.

Dating Safety Tips for Meeting Online

NEVER share your personal or financial information with people you don't know. Make sure to follow these guidelines at all times when meeting new people online:
  • Don't wire money to strangers or to someone who claims to be in an emergency (and wants to keep the request a secret).
  • Don't give out your credit card number or bank info.
  • Don't share your personal info, such as SSN, address, phone number, etc.
There are certain red flags to watch for that may indicate you're dealing with a scammer. Be aware of anyone who...
  • Vanishes mysteriously from the site, then reappears under a different name
  • Claims to be recently widowed
  • Asks for your address under the guise of sending flowers or gifts
  • Makes an unusually large amount of grammar and/or spelling errors
  • Asks you for money
At Single-and-Looking.com we care very much about our community and invest in fraud detection systems to protect you. However, even with these measures, we also need your help!

Dating Safety Tips for Meeting Offline

As of 2011, nearly 750,000 registered sex offenders were listed in the U.S. First meetings are exciting, however, always take precautions and use the following guidelines.
  • Always meet and stay in a public place. It is best not to go back to your date's home or bring them back to yours on the first date. If your date pressures you and you feel uncomfortable, end the date and leave at once.
  • Tell a friend. Inform a friend or family member of your plans, when and where you're going. Make sure you have your mobile phone with you.
  • Stay sober. Do not do anything that would impair your judgment and cause you to make a decision you could regret.
  • Do not get into a personal vehicle with someone you've never met.
  • Don't leave personal items unattended. You don't want to risk having personal information stolen.

August 17, 2015

Love is a conscious choice

Love is a conscious choice!

Our culture perpetuates unrealistic romantic expectations – and women, in particular, are predisposed to these expectations because from the time we're old enough to think, we dream that one day a Prince Charming will come along, fall in love with us, and we'll live happily ever after.
What's wrong with that picture?
Well, first of all, when we look to someone other than ourselves to be the source of our happiness or completion, that's a recipe for dysfunctional co-dependence, not true love. It trains us to hold off being happy until that perfect someone, soul mate or Mr. Right comes along.
A better strategy would be for you to be happy first -- whether you're in a relationship or not. And above all, love yourself first (i.e., hold yourself in high esteem) -- and you'll find no trouble finding men who will want to love you. After all, how can you expect someone to love you if you don't first love yourself?
Expecting love to be a happily-ever-after state of being, nothing could be further from the truth. Most of the time, the feeling of being "in love" dissipates from your relationship. When that happens, you become dissatisfied with your relationship, and you experience unnecessary pain and heartbreak as a result.
Perhaps one of the most important lessons you can ever learn about being, and staying, in love for life -- and for keeps -- is this: Never confuse the feeling of being "in love" with love. True love is a choice.
"Love is not just a feeling. It's a choice, a commitment, a way of behaving toward another. Love is not simply an event that happens to you. Rather, love is something you choose to do. The state of being in love is simply a prelude to love. But most people make the mistake of thinking they're one and the same thing. We are all given circumstances by which we can exercise the choice to love. That's the thunderbolt that God supplies. It's that instant attraction to another person, those warm, fuzzy feelings, that fever akin to drunkenness or madness that causes you to know that you're in love. But it's what you choose to do after that thunderbolt has passed that matters. You choose whether you're going to continue loving the other person after the drunkenness has dissipated, after the frills of romance have fallen away. You choose whether you're going to continue to seek the best interests of the other person, and care about him or her through any and all circumstances -- and for how long. Love is a conscious choice."
A successful relationship between a man and a woman is not born, but made. If you allow romantic love, or feelings, to become the basis for marriage and happiness, the foundation is likely to be unstable because you or your mate are likely to seek new emotional highs as time goes by. Feelings and emotions are fickle, and the circumstances that give rise to them, even more so.
After all, even if you're in the best relationship, there will always be days when you feel you love your mate -- other days you may not. Some days you could feel loved, and other days you don't. Even if you met someone who you imagine is your ideal mate, would they still love you five, ten, or twenty years down the road -- or would you still love them?
Love is an ongoing choice you make every day of your life. You wake up every morning and you say to yourself, "I choose to love this person today and every day of my life" -- their imperfections notwithstanding. And you rejoice in the knowledge that "I get to love this person" and expect to be loved the same way in return.
Love is a privilege, not an obligation.

August 10, 2015

things you should never say to a woman

things you should never say to a woman

Sports have unwritten rules. If an unwritten rule is broken, the offending player will face the consequences.
Relationships have unwritten rules. Technically, all of the rules in dating are unwritten, but there are certain rules in relationships that are so obvious they really shouldn't have to be explained.
Sadly, we're going to have to explain them, because some guys are just plain clueless.

"Are You Putting On Weight?"

Don't Say: “Are you putting on weight?”
This one barely needs explanation. If she's put on weight, chances are she's already well aware of that herself. The last thing she needs is for you to point it out.
Instead Say: “Let's do something active today. I'm feeling out of shape.”
If you do believe she's putting on weight, then your ultimate goal is for her to eat better and exercise. Instead of letting her know that you've noticed she's gone up a size or two (and trust us, she knows already), shift the focus to committing to being healthier together. You're not perfect and could probably stand to lose a couple pounds, too. The focus will then be on sharing healthy activities together, rather than on her weight gain.

"You Look Awful In That Outfit!"

Don't Say: “You look awful in that outfit.”
Instead Say: “I just don't like that outfit.”
If you must voice your displeasure in her appearance, it's best to blame the outfit and not the person underneath. If you don't like the way she looks in a dress, shirt or sweatshirt that graduated college with her, make it about the faults of the material. If you want to soften the blow, package the critique with a compliment so it doesn't sound like she's the unattractive piece of the puzzle. "I don't think that color works with your skin tone" or "That dress is making you look heavy in places that you're not" are at least softer ways of putting down her clothing choices.

"Was That Good For You?"

Don't Say: “Was that good for you?”
Almost as bad a question as "How many people have you been with sexually" is the query "How was that?" right after sex.
Instead Say: “That was amazing.”
If you want to know how you did, without asking bluntly, tell her how good she was in bed. She'll have to respond in some way.

"How Many Men Have You Been With?"

Don't Say: “How many men have you been with?”
Just as she should never ask how many women you've been with, you should never ask her how many men she's slept with. The reason you should never ask this question is because you don't want to know. It doesn't matter if the number is high or low -- there is nothing to be gained from the knowledge of how many other men she's been with sexually. The only thing it will do is change the way you feel about her. If it's too high, you'll think she just gives it up to any guy, and if it's too low you'll wonder if there is something wrong with her.
Instead Say: “How many long-term relationships have you been in?”
If you must know, or find yourself in a situation where you have to ask, it's better to steer the question away from sex and more towards relationships, stay away from the word sex, and focus on dating history.

August 3, 2015

things women do that drive men crazy

things women do that drive men crazy, in a bad way

Men love women. We do. We love making them laugh. We smile when they're happy and do our best to comfort them when they're not. Which probably goes a long way toward understanding how we put up with the crazy things they do.

She Poses Entrapping Questions

"Do I look fat in this?" "Is my friend Bella pretty?" We're all familiar with the questions, and the innocent way girls pose them, putting you between a rock and a hard place.

She Holds Grudges

Once you've made the mistake of giving a wrong answer to a loaded question, even if it was years ago, even if it was before you were dating, even if you've apologized or changed your mind, you better believe you haven't heard about it for the last time.

She Says "Fine"

Gentlemen, things are never "fine" when they say things are "fine." There is no single word that should cause you more fear and agitation, because when she says, "fine," what she really means is that things have reached world-ending, cataclysmic levels of bad and the fact that you don't know it only makes things worse.

She Expects You To Read Her Mind

Ladies want a man who is attentive and sensitive to their needs. Unfortunately, they often confuse being nice with being Nostradamus. No, girls, sadly we cannot tell when you're hungry or thirsty, and we most definitely can't guess where you'd like to eat or what movie you'd like to see -- at least without a little input.

July 27, 2015

what do women look for in a man

what do women look for in a man?

There is an age old question that haunts most of us men looking to attract women. Even more important than what we should wear, or how we should behave in a flirting situation, is this simple age old query.

Confidence

Most men either have no confidence, or carry around a false sense of confidence in an attempt to impress women. Women, just like men, want to see "real confidence" in a man's behavior and attitude, and are sensitive to true confidence versus false bravado. Even if you can fake your confidence at first, any woman you attract and begin spending time with will learn your "true colors" with time – usually it doesn't take very long. Having confidence is about more than thinking you're attractive (which actually makes you look conceited), or believing that you can achieve certain goals. A confident man will share his opinions without being argumentative, doesn't mind an intellectual debate and is open to new ideas. Carry this confidence into the bedroom – don't ask if she's having a good time or if you're a good enough lover, simply assume you are and let her make the final decision. Most women react to confidence the way most men react to large breasts – it could be the most attractive thing about men to many women. In fact, true confidence will seep into the other areas of your life, and pretty much ensure that the other three categories listed here will be met.

Affection

Showing affection is not a matter of physical contact or emotional connection alone, but a complex mix of the two. Just like men, women want to know that they are appreciated, and this comes through affection and closeness as much as it does through any other aspect of a relationship. Take the time to learn a woman's likes and dislikes, and cater your actions to these things. This doesn't mean compromising your own taste -- okay, so it does sometimes, but not all the time. An example of a small gesture that shows affection would be something like what happened on my first date with my current girlfriend. We were on a walk around the town square, and could only scrape together enough money for one glass of wine to share between the two of us. She mentioned a preference for Chardonnay, a wine that I usually detest. Though I wanted to order the heftiest and most expensive pinot noir on the menu, I compromised and shared her Chardonnay with her. I smiled through the pain and could tell she really appreciated it. Affection is also shown in bigger gestures, including public affection like holding her hand to show you're proud of her. Any pains you take to show true affection will be well rewarded, and your woman will feel special and appreciated.

Security

We live in an age where women can be truly independent – it is no longer true that a man must provide everything for his woman. Providing "security" means more than bringing home the bacon, or standing up for her honor. A woman wants to know that her partner is going to work at least as hard as she is to get the good things in life. If you wait tables two days a week and spend the rest of your time playing video games, you don't make a very likely partner long term. Paying your bills and being financially honest with a woman are two other great tactics to proving you are stable and can help provide security to your relationship. Especially now, with the economy in a nosedive and not likely to get much better for a few years, it is important for your potential dating partner to know you're going to pull your weight. Even though most women don't need to simply take money from their men anymore, its vital for a man to prove that he can provide when called upon. Buy dinner as often as you can, give her little gifts, and put your nose to the grind at work. Your potential partners will appreciate the show of security, and your confidence will get a big boost.

Understanding

Women are often stereotyped as "emotional" creatures – the truth is that all people are emotional, male and female. If you weren't an emotional guy, you wouldn't be reading this article right now – you wouldn't be at all concerned with a woman's feelings. Being "understanding" means providing a shoulder to cry on, honest advice and support during tough times, and sometimes just the ability to have a quiet night in when your partner is feeling down or sick or just plain tired. It is easy for us as men to overlook the little things that add up to being labeled "understanding" – if your girlfriend is feeling moody, consider curling up under a blanket and watching her favorite trashy TV show. If she is fighting with her friend, be a sounding board for her concerns without adding too much of our own opinion, unless she asks for it. When the two of you have a fight, and you most certainly will at some point, listen to her complaints and concerns, and respond honestly. Understanding is a vital part of a successful romantic relationship, and one that we men struggle with the most.

July 20, 2015

what do men look for in a woman

what do men look for in a woman?

It's a question that has baffled women for ages. What do men consider beautiful in women? Most of us believe men only see looks as beautiful simply because the media believes it is true. They show us busty females with perfect bodies plastered across our television screens, billboards, and posters, or skinny little models posing in barely there undergarments and designer clothing and we automatically think; "The woman of every man's dreams". But ask any guy and you may very well be surprised to learn those perfect bodies and skinny models are far from his dream girl. After all men and women do not have different brains, claims neuroscientist.

Appreciation

One of the major complaints men have in a long-term relationship is that they often feel criticized, as if nothing they do can please their partner. In other words, they feel unappreciated, which (unsurprisingly) has consequences for their relationship and the couple's sex life.

Good Sex

Let's not pretend that its just men who are looking for a capable and attentive sexual partner. We would be doing women an injustice if we didn't give them credit for their sensual side. Men want a partner who will be willing to share her affection physically without intimidating him. Some women simply look too intense or “hot” for men to approach. Sociologists tell us this could be because men are concerned about their ability to “please” these women in bed. To that end, there is something to be said for “dressing down” and being yourself. Some ways to show a man you're interested in providing the physical attention he wants is through subtle gestures and touching. Graze his arm with your hand, let your hips touch casually, or just outright put your hand on his face – playfully. The point of subtle touch is to make him think it was casual, so don't be too serious about it. By allowing for casual touch, you'll be planting a seed in his mind. Besides, you can find out if you even like touching him long before committing to a date. Don't be intimidated by men's desire for good sex – after all, isn't it one of your desires, too?

Healthy Appearance

Recently, an online survey discovered that men preferred women with an average size body and curves to those whose bodies bared more bone than fat; like the models we see on the runways.
However, even while an average size body did turn their heads, it was actually a woman's personality that men considered beautiful the most. They also think that a woman with self-confidence is beautiful. Kind, caring and sincere were three other attributes that were also considered beautiful in a woman as well as a woman who is willing to listen to him and engage in conversation with him.
And what did they find beautiful as far as looks? Men also confessed that women with natural average-sized breasts were more beautiful than women with breast implants. And when it comes to women's fashion they think we look beautiful in casual clothing verses neat. And what underwear did they find beautiful on a woman? Surprisingly, average and feminine beat out the skimpy erotic panties found on models in adult magazines. Even more surprising, the surveys found that men thought women with a barely there, natural makeup looked more beautiful than women who wear a lot of makeup.
So what gives? Apparently guys are finding out that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to a woman being beautiful. Men would rather get to know a woman and discover that she is beautiful naturally instead of just judging her from the way she looks and finding out that she's really an ugly person on the inside. They're discovering what we've known all along, that true beauty lies within.
Whether or not a man is attracted to you is out of your hands. The best you can do is prepare yourself – and by the way, keeping your body healthy is a good idea in general. A healthy body is a happy body, and good general health leads to good mental health. You have no say in whether or not a man is attracted to you, but you do have control over your health.

Trust

The word “trust” here refers not just to a man's ability to trust that you won't cheat on him, but his ability to come to you for his emotional needs. All people require trust before they're willing to share with someone on a deep level – the kind of level that is healthy for a relationship. If a man thinks you'll listen to his problems and immediately rush off to the internet to Twitter all your friends about it, he won't have that sense of trust necessary to really develop a relationship. In fact, a lack of trust can lead to some really unhealthy partnering. A many may be willing, for instance, to have sex with you or flirt with you, but a perceived lack of trust will keep him from really connecting with his partner. You will become, pardon the expression, a “booty call” – not because he's a jerk, but because he doesn't trust you enough to move the relationship into the next phase. Here is another way in which you and your potential man are similar; you both need trust to make a relationship work. How do you show that you are trustworthy? Avoid gossiping to him about your friends. It may seem fun, and yes its necessary to blow off steam, but it will teach him another important lesson – that you are untrustworthy.

Sense of Humor

Men and women both need humor in their lives to stay happy. Humor is also a great icebreaker in many different difficult situations. How many times has a simple joke turned an awkward first date into a relaxed good time, or how often have you used humor to “disarm” someone you've been attracted to? There will most certainly come times in your relationship that a good joke will keep a minor disagreement from becoming a full fledged argument. Humor works because it breaks down our sense of ourselves, relaxes us physically (laughter being the best medicine), and shows people around us that we have a playful and friendly side. Men want a woman with a sense of humor for the same reason women want the same thing in a man – humor keeps our mood bright, and can even ignite passion. It turns out, laughter is also one of the best aphrodisiacs, and men will find your sense of humor, no matter how goofy or corny, a serious turn on.

July 13, 2015

3 steps to perfect personals

3 steps to perfect personals

The competition for attention on online dating services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract that next date. It's vital that you are honest in your profile and through your photos so that you don't meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses. So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile right now.

Keep it simple

Keep your statements simple, light and inviting. Taking the opportunity in your profile to rant about life isn't the best way to attract others and you need the highlights to pop out a grab attention. Make sure that you list your best features first as you might lose someone further down the page or in a more detailed section.
Consider your profile from a quick glance point of view and create one that will hand over the best highlights quickly enough that a person who is browsing might be inclined to read more about you. Take any opportunities you have for using quick descriptions or tags that other might be more inclined to read rather than large body of text. This includes filling out any information that can be used in a database to help match you with others.

Avoid Negativity

Have you ever gone out on a first date where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex, etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet. Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have anything negative in your profile ("I hate country music," "the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater," "I'm sick of being alone," "I'm sick of the bar scene," etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive ("I love independent music and artists, like..."). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.

Filter Out Unwanteds

Allow those getting a peek into your head to know what it is that you're looking for in another person. Don't be afraid to list qualities that you believe are important in your mate as this will help narrow the selection to the most likely candidates available. If you're worried about being too specific and would like to have the option of choosing from more people, select the top five most important traits and leave the others to be revealed during more intimate circumstances.
Your profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of person you are attracted to. Therefore, use descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you get responses from who you're looking for.
Instead of "I'm looking for someone fun and humorous," say, "I'm looking for a lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match. Email me." In the above example, you created three filters - an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without offending. But you also created a response filter ("...we may be a match. Email me.") You've helped tell the person what the next step is if they meet your criteria. You've created a call to action, which will help direct interested parties to email you versus waiting.

Bonus Tip

Once you have finished crafting your masterpiece remember that it is important to update it with any new information so that others can see you're actively looking within the community. Including a picture from your life can be a great way to freshen up your profile without too much effort while allowing others some insight into your world.
A great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about them? What makes the profiles different?
Now what will you do to make your profile different?

July 6, 2015

7 reasons to date online

7 reasons to date online

When trying to determine whether or not online dating is the right path for you there are some main points to consider. These top seven reasons may help provide you with some of the positive aspects of online dating.

Extensive community of people to choose from

There is no doubt that with literally millions of members within the various online dating communities that by joining up you are expanding your selection of potential romances. Consider the idea that your perfect someone is just an hour away, but far enough that you might never run into them, let alone meet, connect and fall in love, if not for a way of getting together. The advanced network of internet dating allows you access unlike any other method with a staggering number of people to choose from.

Everyone you meet is on the same or at least a similar track

Rather than going out and hoping that a person you find attractive might be interested in dating and might just agree to going out with you, the online dating community ensures that every person you meet is also looking for romance in one form or another. This limits the number of people to those who share your desire to meet others, a limitation that you can't depend on through traditional methods.

Ease of Finding Suitable Partners!

Narrowing down your selections right away to increase your match potential will not only help you in how to find a date, but to ensure that your list of potentials is tailored to your interests, desires and goals. Single-and-Looking allows you to do more than just browse through nice profiles; we give you an opportunity to ask for exactly what you would hope to find in your match. Using this information, members are selected and listed for you.

Immediately connecting with others who share your interests

Unlike traditional methods of dating where you hope that a person you meet might share some of your likes and dislikes, this method allows you to immediately be connected with those who are like minded. Many online members find that even if romance isn't in the cards, they often find wonderful friends who they can share their passions with throughout the community.

Building stronger connections for meaningful relationships

Through the standard methods of dating people often connected through physical chemistry first and allowed the rest to slowly come out over time. Unfortunately while this can be exciting for a time, those truly looking for love often find that this route is time consuming and too often disappointing. Enjoying a person's physical appearance simply isn't enough to keep most people happy. The connections made through online dating have been proven to be more likely to help couples build lasting relationships than any other method available to date. While physical chemistry is certainly important, more and more people are finding it a secondary requirement to those that seem to make for a deeper, lasting connection.

From the comfort of your own home

Heading out to hit the dating scene can be greatly fun, but over time many people find that the novelty wears off long before they have found that special someone. Internet dating allows you to do everything, from creating your own hot profile and revealing your deepest desires to live chat (including web cam) with a person you find interesting or even taking a little time to flirt online and strengthen your chemistry with someone special, all from your very own home. This is an undeniable perk of the online method, allowing you to be relaxed and feel secure in your own environment and may also prove to be practical and economical as well.

On your own time, at your own pace

The initial stages of setting up your profile, looking through the profiles of others and exchanging emails are obviously entirely at your leisure. Even better, because of the convenient location (wherever you can access the internet) you can also arrange for instant messaging, live chat room connections or even voice and web cam interaction at times which fit your schedule. Because the entire online dating world is set up differently from the traditional you can also choose to take each connection at your own pace. This perk allows romance seekers to operate around busy working or simply active lives thus increasing their chances of finding the right person at the right time.

Try out the online dating scene and see where it takes you!

The success is in the numbers: Couples who find their match online enjoy happier, long lasting relationships - More and more statistics come out each year showing that couples who find one another online seem to build relationships that last. Is this because they were looking for love in the first place? Is it due to the fact that they were brought together using advanced techniques that match the most compatible people? Perhaps these connections are strengthened by the idea that a mental connection can wildly increase physical attraction? Whatever the reasons for these amazing success stories, it is important to keep them in mind if you're looking to build this type of relationship. The deep connections, friendships and romances that are to be found online provide the kind of meaning so many singles are looking for in a relationship. Those looking for that special someone would do well to consider this method, which becomes more and more popular each day, when trying to find ways to meet their true match.

June 15, 2015

more singles than married people

Think all the good ones are taken?
Think again.

New data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), show that, for the first time ever, there are more single adults in the U.S. than married ones. As of August 2014, 124.6 million Americans were single, with 50.2 percent of the adult population (16 and over) unattached. According to the US Census, 53% of singles are women, 47% are men. However in China, there are currently 118 men for every 100 women — and around 200 million Chinese are currently single.

According to U.S. Census Bureau, Current Population Survey 2011, since the 1960s, men and women have been increasingly marrying later. The median age at first marriage has risen to nearly 29 years for men and to more than 26 years for women.
age at first marriage

June 8, 2015

Compatibility matching system

We all have good parts, bad parts and priorities. Our compatibility matching system determines compatibility based on your priorities. Ideally partners should be between 20 - 40% different in order to keep the relationship interesting, but similar enough to have the same perspective on life. The important thing is to know what you should have in common and what not. If you were born to be an active or a social person and your partner is not, chances are in long term you will not be happy. While just the simple fact that you like Rock and your partner likes Jazz, will not stop you from having a wonderful life together.

Most people love doing certain things. When they exaggerate with what they like, they get out of balance and have to stop doing what they love most. Therefore they should also avoid temptation, including a partner who tempts them. For example, Mr. A who loves fat products and ate them his entire life, finds out he should avoid them. But his wife who loves only salad and absolutely hates fat finds out she has to include some fat in her diet on a regular basis. What will happen is that Mr. A will become frustrated, will avoid eating with his wife and their relationship will fall apart.

We are not saying that if you do not like or do the same things you are not compatible, or that you have to do the same things in order to be compatible. What we are saying is that

Breakups occur from little but extremely important differences. Not knowing what really matters can lead to failure.