July 27, 2015

what do women look for in a man

what do women look for in a man?

There is an age old question that haunts most of us men looking to attract women. Even more important than what we should wear, or how we should behave in a flirting situation, is this simple age old query.


Most men either have no confidence, or carry around a false sense of confidence in an attempt to impress women. Women, just like men, want to see "real confidence" in a man's behavior and attitude, and are sensitive to true confidence versus false bravado. Even if you can fake your confidence at first, any woman you attract and begin spending time with will learn your "true colors" with time – usually it doesn't take very long. Having confidence is about more than thinking you're attractive (which actually makes you look conceited), or believing that you can achieve certain goals. A confident man will share his opinions without being argumentative, doesn't mind an intellectual debate and is open to new ideas. Carry this confidence into the bedroom – don't ask if she's having a good time or if you're a good enough lover, simply assume you are and let her make the final decision. Most women react to confidence the way most men react to large breasts – it could be the most attractive thing about men to many women. In fact, true confidence will seep into the other areas of your life, and pretty much ensure that the other three categories listed here will be met.


Showing affection is not a matter of physical contact or emotional connection alone, but a complex mix of the two. Just like men, women want to know that they are appreciated, and this comes through affection and closeness as much as it does through any other aspect of a relationship. Take the time to learn a woman's likes and dislikes, and cater your actions to these things. This doesn't mean compromising your own taste -- okay, so it does sometimes, but not all the time. An example of a small gesture that shows affection would be something like what happened on my first date with my current girlfriend. We were on a walk around the town square, and could only scrape together enough money for one glass of wine to share between the two of us. She mentioned a preference for Chardonnay, a wine that I usually detest. Though I wanted to order the heftiest and most expensive pinot noir on the menu, I compromised and shared her Chardonnay with her. I smiled through the pain and could tell she really appreciated it. Affection is also shown in bigger gestures, including public affection like holding her hand to show you're proud of her. Any pains you take to show true affection will be well rewarded, and your woman will feel special and appreciated.


We live in an age where women can be truly independent – it is no longer true that a man must provide everything for his woman. Providing "security" means more than bringing home the bacon, or standing up for her honor. A woman wants to know that her partner is going to work at least as hard as she is to get the good things in life. If you wait tables two days a week and spend the rest of your time playing video games, you don't make a very likely partner long term. Paying your bills and being financially honest with a woman are two other great tactics to proving you are stable and can help provide security to your relationship. Especially now, with the economy in a nosedive and not likely to get much better for a few years, it is important for your potential dating partner to know you're going to pull your weight. Even though most women don't need to simply take money from their men anymore, its vital for a man to prove that he can provide when called upon. Buy dinner as often as you can, give her little gifts, and put your nose to the grind at work. Your potential partners will appreciate the show of security, and your confidence will get a big boost.


Women are often stereotyped as "emotional" creatures – the truth is that all people are emotional, male and female. If you weren't an emotional guy, you wouldn't be reading this article right now – you wouldn't be at all concerned with a woman's feelings. Being "understanding" means providing a shoulder to cry on, honest advice and support during tough times, and sometimes just the ability to have a quiet night in when your partner is feeling down or sick or just plain tired. It is easy for us as men to overlook the little things that add up to being labeled "understanding" – if your girlfriend is feeling moody, consider curling up under a blanket and watching her favorite trashy TV show. If she is fighting with her friend, be a sounding board for her concerns without adding too much of our own opinion, unless she asks for it. When the two of you have a fight, and you most certainly will at some point, listen to her complaints and concerns, and respond honestly. Understanding is a vital part of a successful romantic relationship, and one that we men struggle with the most.

July 20, 2015

what do men look for in a woman

what do men look for in a woman?

It's a question that has baffled women for ages. What do men consider beautiful in women? Most of us believe men only see looks as beautiful simply because the media believes it is true. They show us busty females with perfect bodies plastered across our television screens, billboards, and posters, or skinny little models posing in barely there undergarments and designer clothing and we automatically think; "The woman of every man's dreams". But ask any guy and you may very well be surprised to learn those perfect bodies and skinny models are far from his dream girl. After all men and women do not have different brains, claims neuroscientist.


One of the major complaints men have in a long-term relationship is that they often feel criticized, as if nothing they do can please their partner. In other words, they feel unappreciated, which (unsurprisingly) has consequences for their relationship and the couple's sex life.

Good Sex

Let's not pretend that its just men who are looking for a capable and attentive sexual partner. We would be doing women an injustice if we didn't give them credit for their sensual side. Men want a partner who will be willing to share her affection physically without intimidating him. Some women simply look too intense or “hot” for men to approach. Sociologists tell us this could be because men are concerned about their ability to “please” these women in bed. To that end, there is something to be said for “dressing down” and being yourself. Some ways to show a man you're interested in providing the physical attention he wants is through subtle gestures and touching. Graze his arm with your hand, let your hips touch casually, or just outright put your hand on his face – playfully. The point of subtle touch is to make him think it was casual, so don't be too serious about it. By allowing for casual touch, you'll be planting a seed in his mind. Besides, you can find out if you even like touching him long before committing to a date. Don't be intimidated by men's desire for good sex – after all, isn't it one of your desires, too?

Healthy Appearance

Recently, an online survey discovered that men preferred women with an average size body and curves to those whose bodies bared more bone than fat; like the models we see on the runways.
However, even while an average size body did turn their heads, it was actually a woman's personality that men considered beautiful the most. They also think that a woman with self-confidence is beautiful. Kind, caring and sincere were three other attributes that were also considered beautiful in a woman as well as a woman who is willing to listen to him and engage in conversation with him.
And what did they find beautiful as far as looks? Men also confessed that women with natural average-sized breasts were more beautiful than women with breast implants. And when it comes to women's fashion they think we look beautiful in casual clothing verses neat. And what underwear did they find beautiful on a woman? Surprisingly, average and feminine beat out the skimpy erotic panties found on models in adult magazines. Even more surprising, the surveys found that men thought women with a barely there, natural makeup looked more beautiful than women who wear a lot of makeup.
So what gives? Apparently guys are finding out that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to a woman being beautiful. Men would rather get to know a woman and discover that she is beautiful naturally instead of just judging her from the way she looks and finding out that she's really an ugly person on the inside. They're discovering what we've known all along, that true beauty lies within.
Whether or not a man is attracted to you is out of your hands. The best you can do is prepare yourself – and by the way, keeping your body healthy is a good idea in general. A healthy body is a happy body, and good general health leads to good mental health. You have no say in whether or not a man is attracted to you, but you do have control over your health.


The word “trust” here refers not just to a man's ability to trust that you won't cheat on him, but his ability to come to you for his emotional needs. All people require trust before they're willing to share with someone on a deep level – the kind of level that is healthy for a relationship. If a man thinks you'll listen to his problems and immediately rush off to the internet to Twitter all your friends about it, he won't have that sense of trust necessary to really develop a relationship. In fact, a lack of trust can lead to some really unhealthy partnering. A many may be willing, for instance, to have sex with you or flirt with you, but a perceived lack of trust will keep him from really connecting with his partner. You will become, pardon the expression, a “booty call” – not because he's a jerk, but because he doesn't trust you enough to move the relationship into the next phase. Here is another way in which you and your potential man are similar; you both need trust to make a relationship work. How do you show that you are trustworthy? Avoid gossiping to him about your friends. It may seem fun, and yes its necessary to blow off steam, but it will teach him another important lesson – that you are untrustworthy.

Sense of Humor

Men and women both need humor in their lives to stay happy. Humor is also a great icebreaker in many different difficult situations. How many times has a simple joke turned an awkward first date into a relaxed good time, or how often have you used humor to “disarm” someone you've been attracted to? There will most certainly come times in your relationship that a good joke will keep a minor disagreement from becoming a full fledged argument. Humor works because it breaks down our sense of ourselves, relaxes us physically (laughter being the best medicine), and shows people around us that we have a playful and friendly side. Men want a woman with a sense of humor for the same reason women want the same thing in a man – humor keeps our mood bright, and can even ignite passion. It turns out, laughter is also one of the best aphrodisiacs, and men will find your sense of humor, no matter how goofy or corny, a serious turn on.

July 13, 2015

3 steps to perfect personals

3 steps to perfect personals

The competition for attention on online dating services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract that next date. It's vital that you are honest in your profile and through your photos so that you don't meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses. So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile right now.

Keep it simple

Keep your statements simple, light and inviting. Taking the opportunity in your profile to rant about life isn't the best way to attract others and you need the highlights to pop out a grab attention. Make sure that you list your best features first as you might lose someone further down the page or in a more detailed section.
Consider your profile from a quick glance point of view and create one that will hand over the best highlights quickly enough that a person who is browsing might be inclined to read more about you. Take any opportunities you have for using quick descriptions or tags that other might be more inclined to read rather than large body of text. This includes filling out any information that can be used in a database to help match you with others.

Avoid Negativity

Have you ever gone out on a first date where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex, etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet. Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have anything negative in your profile ("I hate country music," "the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater," "I'm sick of being alone," "I'm sick of the bar scene," etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive ("I love independent music and artists, like..."). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.

Filter Out Unwanteds

Allow those getting a peek into your head to know what it is that you're looking for in another person. Don't be afraid to list qualities that you believe are important in your mate as this will help narrow the selection to the most likely candidates available. If you're worried about being too specific and would like to have the option of choosing from more people, select the top five most important traits and leave the others to be revealed during more intimate circumstances.
Your profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of person you are attracted to. Therefore, use descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you get responses from who you're looking for.
Instead of "I'm looking for someone fun and humorous," say, "I'm looking for a lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match. Email me." In the above example, you created three filters - an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without offending. But you also created a response filter ("...we may be a match. Email me.") You've helped tell the person what the next step is if they meet your criteria. You've created a call to action, which will help direct interested parties to email you versus waiting.

Bonus Tip

Once you have finished crafting your masterpiece remember that it is important to update it with any new information so that others can see you're actively looking within the community. Including a picture from your life can be a great way to freshen up your profile without too much effort while allowing others some insight into your world.
A great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about them? What makes the profiles different?
Now what will you do to make your profile different?

July 6, 2015

7 reasons to date online

7 reasons to date online

When trying to determine whether or not online dating is the right path for you there are some main points to consider. These top seven reasons may help provide you with some of the positive aspects of online dating.

Extensive community of people to choose from

There is no doubt that with literally millions of members within the various online dating communities that by joining up you are expanding your selection of potential romances. Consider the idea that your perfect someone is just an hour away, but far enough that you might never run into them, let alone meet, connect and fall in love, if not for a way of getting together. The advanced network of internet dating allows you access unlike any other method with a staggering number of people to choose from.

Everyone you meet is on the same or at least a similar track

Rather than going out and hoping that a person you find attractive might be interested in dating and might just agree to going out with you, the online dating community ensures that every person you meet is also looking for romance in one form or another. This limits the number of people to those who share your desire to meet others, a limitation that you can't depend on through traditional methods.

Ease of Finding Suitable Partners!

Narrowing down your selections right away to increase your match potential will not only help you in how to find a date, but to ensure that your list of potentials is tailored to your interests, desires and goals. Single-and-Looking allows you to do more than just browse through nice profiles; we give you an opportunity to ask for exactly what you would hope to find in your match. Using this information, members are selected and listed for you.

Immediately connecting with others who share your interests

Unlike traditional methods of dating where you hope that a person you meet might share some of your likes and dislikes, this method allows you to immediately be connected with those who are like minded. Many online members find that even if romance isn't in the cards, they often find wonderful friends who they can share their passions with throughout the community.

Building stronger connections for meaningful relationships

Through the standard methods of dating people often connected through physical chemistry first and allowed the rest to slowly come out over time. Unfortunately while this can be exciting for a time, those truly looking for love often find that this route is time consuming and too often disappointing. Enjoying a person's physical appearance simply isn't enough to keep most people happy. The connections made through online dating have been proven to be more likely to help couples build lasting relationships than any other method available to date. While physical chemistry is certainly important, more and more people are finding it a secondary requirement to those that seem to make for a deeper, lasting connection.

From the comfort of your own home

Heading out to hit the dating scene can be greatly fun, but over time many people find that the novelty wears off long before they have found that special someone. Internet dating allows you to do everything, from creating your own hot profile and revealing your deepest desires to live chat (including web cam) with a person you find interesting or even taking a little time to flirt online and strengthen your chemistry with someone special, all from your very own home. This is an undeniable perk of the online method, allowing you to be relaxed and feel secure in your own environment and may also prove to be practical and economical as well.

On your own time, at your own pace

The initial stages of setting up your profile, looking through the profiles of others and exchanging emails are obviously entirely at your leisure. Even better, because of the convenient location (wherever you can access the internet) you can also arrange for instant messaging, live chat room connections or even voice and web cam interaction at times which fit your schedule. Because the entire online dating world is set up differently from the traditional you can also choose to take each connection at your own pace. This perk allows romance seekers to operate around busy working or simply active lives thus increasing their chances of finding the right person at the right time.

Try out the online dating scene and see where it takes you!

The success is in the numbers: Couples who find their match online enjoy happier, long lasting relationships - More and more statistics come out each year showing that couples who find one another online seem to build relationships that last. Is this because they were looking for love in the first place? Is it due to the fact that they were brought together using advanced techniques that match the most compatible people? Perhaps these connections are strengthened by the idea that a mental connection can wildly increase physical attraction? Whatever the reasons for these amazing success stories, it is important to keep them in mind if you're looking to build this type of relationship. The deep connections, friendships and romances that are to be found online provide the kind of meaning so many singles are looking for in a relationship. Those looking for that special someone would do well to consider this method, which becomes more and more popular each day, when trying to find ways to meet their true match.