July 27, 2015
July 20, 2015
what do men look for in a woman?It's a question that has baffled women for ages. What do men consider beautiful in women? Most of us believe men only see looks as beautiful simply because the media believes it is true. They show us busty females with perfect bodies plastered across our television screens, billboards, and posters, or skinny little models posing in barely there undergarments and designer clothing and we automatically think; "The woman of every man's dreams". But ask any guy and you may very well be surprised to learn those perfect bodies and skinny models are far from his dream girl. After all men and women do not have different brains, claims neuroscientist.
AppreciationOne of the major complaints men have in a long-term relationship is that they often feel criticized, as if nothing they do can please their partner. In other words, they feel unappreciated, which (unsurprisingly) has consequences for their relationship and the couple's sex life.
Good SexLet's not pretend that its just men who are looking for a capable and attentive sexual partner. We would be doing women an injustice if we didn't give them credit for their sensual side. Men want a partner who will be willing to share her affection physically without intimidating him. Some women simply look too intense or “hot” for men to approach. Sociologists tell us this could be because men are concerned about their ability to “please” these women in bed. To that end, there is something to be said for “dressing down” and being yourself. Some ways to show a man you're interested in providing the physical attention he wants is through subtle gestures and touching. Graze his arm with your hand, let your hips touch casually, or just outright put your hand on his face – playfully. The point of subtle touch is to make him think it was casual, so don't be too serious about it. By allowing for casual touch, you'll be planting a seed in his mind. Besides, you can find out if you even like touching him long before committing to a date. Don't be intimidated by men's desire for good sex – after all, isn't it one of your desires, too?
Healthy AppearanceRecently, an online survey discovered that men preferred women with an average size body and curves to those whose bodies bared more bone than fat; like the models we see on the runways.
However, even while an average size body did turn their heads, it was actually a woman's personality that men considered beautiful the most. They also think that a woman with self-confidence is beautiful. Kind, caring and sincere were three other attributes that were also considered beautiful in a woman as well as a woman who is willing to listen to him and engage in conversation with him.
And what did they find beautiful as far as looks? Men also confessed that women with natural average-sized breasts were more beautiful than women with breast implants. And when it comes to women's fashion they think we look beautiful in casual clothing verses neat. And what underwear did they find beautiful on a woman? Surprisingly, average and feminine beat out the skimpy erotic panties found on models in adult magazines. Even more surprising, the surveys found that men thought women with a barely there, natural makeup looked more beautiful than women who wear a lot of makeup.
So what gives? Apparently guys are finding out that there's more than meets the eye when it comes to a woman being beautiful. Men would rather get to know a woman and discover that she is beautiful naturally instead of just judging her from the way she looks and finding out that she's really an ugly person on the inside. They're discovering what we've known all along, that true beauty lies within.
Whether or not a man is attracted to you is out of your hands. The best you can do is prepare yourself – and by the way, keeping your body healthy is a good idea in general. A healthy body is a happy body, and good general health leads to good mental health. You have no say in whether or not a man is attracted to you, but you do have control over your health.
TrustThe word “trust” here refers not just to a man's ability to trust that you won't cheat on him, but his ability to come to you for his emotional needs. All people require trust before they're willing to share with someone on a deep level – the kind of level that is healthy for a relationship. If a man thinks you'll listen to his problems and immediately rush off to the internet to Twitter all your friends about it, he won't have that sense of trust necessary to really develop a relationship. In fact, a lack of trust can lead to some really unhealthy partnering. A many may be willing, for instance, to have sex with you or flirt with you, but a perceived lack of trust will keep him from really connecting with his partner. You will become, pardon the expression, a “booty call” – not because he's a jerk, but because he doesn't trust you enough to move the relationship into the next phase. Here is another way in which you and your potential man are similar; you both need trust to make a relationship work. How do you show that you are trustworthy? Avoid gossiping to him about your friends. It may seem fun, and yes its necessary to blow off steam, but it will teach him another important lesson – that you are untrustworthy.
Sense of HumorMen and women both need humor in their lives to stay happy. Humor is also a great icebreaker in many different difficult situations. How many times has a simple joke turned an awkward first date into a relaxed good time, or how often have you used humor to “disarm” someone you've been attracted to? There will most certainly come times in your relationship that a good joke will keep a minor disagreement from becoming a full fledged argument. Humor works because it breaks down our sense of ourselves, relaxes us physically (laughter being the best medicine), and shows people around us that we have a playful and friendly side. Men want a woman with a sense of humor for the same reason women want the same thing in a man – humor keeps our mood bright, and can even ignite passion. It turns out, laughter is also one of the best aphrodisiacs, and men will find your sense of humor, no matter how goofy or corny, a serious turn on.
July 13, 2015
3 steps to perfect personalsThe competition for attention on online dating services is intense. So intense, in fact, that some people resort to lying or posting outdated photos to try and attract that next date. It's vital that you are honest in your profile and through your photos so that you don't meet (or interact) with others under false pretenses. So then what are some important things you can do to build a better profile? Here are three specific profile tips you can use to improve your profile right now.
Keep it simpleKeep your statements simple, light and inviting. Taking the opportunity in your profile to rant about life isn't the best way to attract others and you need the highlights to pop out a grab attention. Make sure that you list your best features first as you might lose someone further down the page or in a more detailed section.
Consider your profile from a quick glance point of view and create one that will hand over the best highlights quickly enough that a person who is browsing might be inclined to read more about you. Take any opportunities you have for using quick descriptions or tags that other might be more inclined to read rather than large body of text. This includes filling out any information that can be used in a database to help match you with others.
Avoid NegativityHave you ever gone out on a first date where the person you were with complained about his/her work, ex, etc? Such negative talk is a major turnoff. Likewise, negativity is a major turnoff in your profile. Being positive is like a magnet. Being negative is like wearing a skunk aroma. Psychologically everyone wants to be a winner. Therefore in your profile, avoid anything negative like the plague. Be positive.
If you have anything negative in your profile ("I hate country music," "the last guy I dated was a liar and cheater," "I'm sick of being alone," "I'm sick of the bar scene," etc.) then go edit it out immediately and replace it with something positive ("I love independent music and artists, like..."). Always be positive; not just in your profile, but also in life.
Filter Out UnwantedsAllow those getting a peek into your head to know what it is that you're looking for in another person. Don't be afraid to list qualities that you believe are important in your mate as this will help narrow the selection to the most likely candidates available. If you're worried about being too specific and would like to have the option of choosing from more people, select the top five most important traits and leave the others to be revealed during more intimate circumstances.
Your profile isn't about getting responses. It is about getting responses from the type of person you are attracted to. Therefore, use descriptions to help narrow your focus to what you want so that you get responses from who you're looking for.
Instead of "I'm looking for someone fun and humorous," say, "I'm looking for a lighthearted man between the ages of 24 and 29 who enjoys the humorous side of life. If you are clean-shaven and can hold a conversation during a 150 mile car journey, then we may be a match. Email me." In the above example, you created three filters - an age filter (24 and 29), and appearance filter (clean-shaven) and a communication filter (good-communicator). And you did it without offending. But you also created a response filter ("...we may be a match. Email me.") You've helped tell the person what the next step is if they meet your criteria. You've created a call to action, which will help direct interested parties to email you versus waiting.
Bonus TipOnce you have finished crafting your masterpiece remember that it is important to update it with any new information so that others can see you're actively looking within the community. Including a picture from your life can be a great way to freshen up your profile without too much effort while allowing others some insight into your world.
A great way to make your profile better is to analyze profiles you really like. What is it that you like about them? What makes the profiles different?
Now what will you do to make your profile different?